Reflections on 2012

Wow, where do I even begin...this year has been an abundance of extremes: a lot of positive vibes and a few stressful events as well. Every year since beginning this blog I have written annual reflections and I have to say that this year is on of the most memorable because of three major life-changing events:


1.) Marriage: April 20 was the magical day where we said, "I do" and joined together in blissful union. I feel blessed to have met and married such an incredible, kind, and compassionate man. 2012 pretty much sealed the deal on our relationship as we lived together (officially) for the first time in a tiny European apartment (and we did not kill each other). Charlie's proposal in the Finnish sauna continues to be an entertaining story and cherished memory. We had the great pleasure of celebrating our union not once, but three times...in Finland, Colorado, and Ohio.

2.) Pregnancy: In October we discovered that Charlie's swimmers won the race. Pure joy! I never really knew if I would bear children and now it is a reality. Although, the first trimester was H-E-L-L with morning sickness and dissertation cramming, we both acknowledged the miracle that was growing in my body.

3.) Completing (dumping) my dissertation: No words can explain how great it feels to have this monkey off of my back (finally!) The highlight of my dissertation experience was unequivocally the Fulbright adventure in Finland and conducting the interviews (I loved talking to people and getting their perspective on such a divisive and culturally sensitive issue). It was a rough ride in the final push, especially in November--the darkest month in Finland and the peak of my morning sickness, but I put it to rest! No sense in discussing this anymore...onto the next chapter in this book called LOVE & LIFE.

Of course, this year's reflection would not be complete without highlighting the travel too...Denmark (Erasmus Mundus conference), Serbia (academic conference), Greece (pure pleasure!), Estonia (a romantic weekend), Czech Republic (Erasmus Mundus meeting), Denmark (meeting Charlie's relatives), Latvia (honeymoon with my parents), Brussels (Erasmus Mundus meeting), Berlin (Fulbright meeting), Arctic Circle (Fulbright trip), and Italy (travel with my sister and bro-in-law). Wow, those travelin' shoes put on a lot of miles!

Back to a (NEW) Reality!

Superhubby and I flew back across the Atlantic Ocean and made our way home. Home to Finland, where we have no car (thank goodness!), we bike or walk everywhere (so nice!), the air is fresh, the nature is in our backyard, and life is simplistically peaceful. While the past 50 days have been incredibly wonderful, they were also quite intense and rather stressful (especially during the 2-week full court press to get my dissertation completed). We arrived home yesterday and I began the journey of settling back into a new existence--without dissertation writing everyday, without morning sickness, and without impending darkness (snow now illuminates the dark winter and we are now gaining precious daylight everyday!)

A Moment of Truth: The Dissertation Defense

Monday came only too soon and I rallied at 5 a.m. when my mind (and nerves) woke me up. My defense was scheduled for 10 a.m. and I had to make sure we had proper Skype connection with one of the professors in Oslo, so I planned to arrive at 9 a.m. I stopped at my favorite Athens coffee shop and relaxed there, going over my presentation, as I sipped rooibois tea and snacked on a vegetarian breakfast burrito. I walked to campus and worked with the IT dude to connect the professor in Oslo...which was more problematic than expected, but we managed to come to a working (but not optimal) solution. Finally, the other three professors filed in and before I knew it I was on the HOT seat. My major professor explained the defense process to me and then asked me to leave the room:

1.) They ask me to leave the room and discuss between them if there were any major concerns or gaps.
2.) If not, then they invite me back in and ask me to make a 15-minute presentation covering the findings, key discoveries, challenges, and future pursuits.
3.) Each professor then asks me questions and gives me feedback on the work.
4.) They ask me to leave the room again and discuss if I passed and what revisions (if any) I need to make.
5.) If all is good, then I sign paperwork and jump up and down and scream my head off with pure joy and liberation!

The famous "arch" on campus!

By this time, my nerves had turned into adrenalin...and I was ready to kick some ass. They invited me back and said there were no major concerns or problems and I began my presentation. The Q&A with the professors was more like a discussion. I did not feel stumped or put on the spot at any moment, in fact it was great to talk in depth about my lover that I had been working with for the past two years...that I was about to DUMP! All of the questions and suggested revisions were fair and reasonable. After about one hour of Q&As they asked me to step out of the room and before I knew it I was walking back into a room full of congratulations! Woohoo! We signed the paperwork, which felt all too surreal and I did everything I could to stop myself from busting into my favorite dance move, "Drop that Ass...". Charlie was waiting for me outside the room and I melted into his arms with a true feeling of liberation. See ya later, DISS!

We celebrated by eating pizza (of which I had been craving). Later, and after a much needed nap, we met up with our Athens friends (the Brazilians, Mallory, our Latino dudes, and a few PhD colleagues) at a local watering hole, the Globe. It was a perfectly intimate way to celebrate a long 4.5 years of my life.

The Final Pilgrimage: Dissertation Defense in Georgia!

Dissertation defense or bust! We rented a compact car and loaded our four 50-lb bags in the trunk/back-seat and headed South for Georgia...the land of PhD freedom! A road trip of this magnitude (530 miles) with a pregnant lady really means a tour of gas-station bathrooms. What fun! Actually, the drive down was not so bad and we stopped mid-way to meet up with Charlie's former boss and partner in Knoxville, Tennessee. We ate at the delicious Tupelo Honey Cafe, one of our favorite Southern eateries with incredible, freshly baked biscuits (OMG, how I could devour one of those right now). A few days earlier Charlie and I had food poisoning, so we welcomed a GOOD hearty plate of Southern cooking. And, of course the wonderful company made the food even tastier and more special!

We continued on our journey to Athens, Georgia where we stayed with our dear friends, Jack and Linda Toma. We had one day (Sunday) to relax before my defense and so we met up with another dear friend, Mallory, at one of our favorite Athens eateries--Big City Bread. YUM! While there we saw my major professor and a fellow yogini friend. This is what I love about returning to a place you used to call home--all of the familiar locales, sights, smells, and best of all the people. Reflecting back on this trip (I am writing this in February) I have to say that it was a perfect way to remember all of the sweetness of Athens, Georgia. While living there, I struggled to feel truly connected to the community, the politics, the quality of life, my PhD experience, etc., but this trip accentuated only the positive vibes and good memories I have for Athens. An epic way to close this chapter in my life!

Good 'Ol Family Time in Ohio

Charlie's grandmother is 96 years old and she is an amazingly bright woman for her age (nice! super-hubby comes from good, healthy genes). We drove up north to Toledo (164 miles from Charlie's parents house in Dayton) to visit her and I have to say I was quite taken with her gentle demeanor and sharp mind; she makes growing older look like a cake walk. She keeps her minds stimulated by sewing. While we were visiting her in the retirement home, an employee knocked on her door and asked if she could fix a clothing item for him. She looked at it and said, "Why yes, I can fix this...come back before you leave for work." She showed us her sewing room/bedroom, with hundreds of spools of thread hanging on her wall, and she gave us a few baby blankets she had hand-sewn (to be cherished by us and the little girl that will soon be dancing in our arms).


We also made time to meet Charlie's uncle Joel and aunt Sally in Toledo and the BIG doggy...Dane.

Ohio Wedding Celebration

Charlie and his Ohio boys!

Another wedding cake...another messy face.

After Christmas in Colorado, we packed our bags and flew to Ohio for quality time with Charlie's family and another wedding celebration. The best way to get married is to go international and then you have the excuse of having more parties at home. We decided to have not one, but two wedding celebrations to make travel easier for all of our friends and family. The Ohio wedding celebration was held in a wooden barn turned into a cozy party venue at Benham's Grove. The Christmas tree was still sparkling and an amazing spread of food (thanks Bonnie & Bill) took center stage. Highlights of the intimate evening included meeting all of Charlie's relatives, eating the delicious food (and not feeling like I was going to toss my cookies), and seeing Charlie so happy and at peace in "his" element.

A Brazilian Comes to Christmas Dinner

The incredible thing about friendship is that it extends borders, cultures, religion, age, and ...(the list goes on). My dear friend, Ali from Brazil, made the long trip from São Paulo to witness our union and participate in a Weimer Christmas extravaganza. I met Ali in 2006 when I first moved to Europe for my masters degree and immediately connected with her and we quickly became international sisters with different mothers. Since then we have been roommates, travel partners, cheerleaders, therapists and editors for each other. It was an honor to have her in Colorado to celebrate such wonderful life events: our marriage, our bun in the oven, and the completion of my dissertation (of which she contributed to as one of my editors). 

Special Guests in Colorado

Charlie's parents traveled all the way from Ohio to Colorado by train (through a blizzard) to attend our Colorado wedding celebration. It meant the world to us that they were able to join in the Colorado shenanigans, as they were unable to attend the ceremony and sauna party in Finland. So, now both of our parents have seen us tie the knot the twice...I guess that means we have officially sealed the deal! Woohoo.

We Have News: Prego!

Roughly 8 weeks ago, super-hubby rode his bike to the Yliopiston Apteekki (pharmacy) and asked one of the pharmacists for a pregnancy test for his wifey. The woman recommended the 2-pack digital Clearblue Plus test for 14 euro and before you knew it he was handing me the box with a nervous smile on his baby-soft face. This was at 12:30 p.m. and we had a lunch date with our Greek friends at 1:30 p.m., so I began downing water and even heated some hot water for tea to let my bladder know it was, "time to perform!" When 1:25 p.m. came Charlie messaged our friends to let them know we were going to be a little late. Lunch must wait...I need to pee on a stick! We started reading the directions on-line (as the directions in the box were in Finnish) and it said, "You should avoid drinking excessive amounts of fluids before testing." Dang...we must wait, to lunch we go!

After an amazing homemade Greek meal with stuffed peppers, feta cheese, green salad, and red wine (that I slyly passed to super-hubby), we walked home, both anxiously awaiting my bladder to kick in. After a Skype conference call, the bladder was ready for some relief and I ran to the bathroom with the door slightly shut. Charlie stood by the door like a little kid waiting for the candy shop to open. I handed him the stick and we waited, waited, and waited for 2 minutes until the blue line starting forming. 

But, wait...what the hell does the blue line mean? We fumbled to get the directions out of the box and attempted to make sense of the Finnish text and photos. Finally, we realized that the big BLUE + = pregnant! Woohoo. Holy shit. Laughter. Anxiety. Smiles. Happiness. All the emotions settled in at once, we're preggers!!! Charlie ran around the house excitedly proclaiming to the world, "My boys can swim!"

We made the news public at our Colorado wedding celebration and will continue to share the news with all. 

A Colorado Wedding Celebration

The mock ceremony!

Guestbook and photos.

Yes, we already tied the knot in Finland, but we wanted to share our union with all of our "favorites " back home. Our Colorado celebration was nothing less than a dream wedding (okay, to be more concise MY dream wedding). It was intimate, located at the base of some of the most beautiful Colorado mountains, and almost all of my favorite people were in attendance. Oh, and the dance party with funny hats was the topping on the cake. Of course, one of the highlights was the mock ceremony that our friend, Brent, officiated. Together, we wrote the ceremony and then Brent interviewed us both to get the "inside scoop" on our relationship. Brent did a phenomenal job pulling it all together in a memorable, humorous, and touching ceremony. It was an amazing way to celebrate our union through words and stories that orchestrated our love, commitment, and our zest for life and adventures. Charlie and I were extremely touched by the entire evening...our friends, family, and the incredible network of love and support.

The wedding details included:

The venue: Chautauqua.

Getting groovy!

-flowers by my big sister: magenta orchids and greens (beautiful!)
-each table was named after a city of significance: Paris, London, Athens (Greece), Berlin,
-the guestbook was a picture book of Colorado
-music by my little kid bro (including Electric Slide, Humpty-Dance, Chicken Dance,

The Colorado ladies serenading Charlie and I.

-bar featured Colorado micro-brew beers (Avery, Breckenridge Brewery, New Belgium, Lefthand, etc.)
-Charlie wore his French suit (bought in Finland) and I wore my pink dress (designed in Finland)
-we hired a friend as the photographer--amazing pics!
-each place setting had a nameplate with written name and an ivory paper box with Fazer chocolates (from Finland)

The wild & wacky Weimer/Neiderworder clan.

-my dad walked me down the "aisle" to the sounds of "Build me up Buttercup"
-there was both vegan and gluten-free food items
-we shared a slideshow of our life abroad with photos from Finland, Belgium, Greece, London, and Italy 
-"save the date" postcard was sent from Finland (Finnish postcards with stickers of the love-birds)
-official (on-line) invitation on mywedding.com
-wedding registry for honeymoon to Istanbul via honeyfund.com

***Special thanks to all of those near and dear who traveled to Colorado to celebrate with us (Ali from Brazil, Charlie's parents from Ohio, Bobby from North Carolina, and Aunt Marie from South Dakota).

The BIG Day: Send & Receive!

Today, I clicked the SEND button and my final dissertation draft (all 200 pages of it) flew through the internet galaxy to land gently in the inbox of four professors. Next stop in this process: my defense January 7, 2013 in Athens, Georgia. Woohoo!

Today, I also picked up my superhusband from the airport and I was filled with emotions when I melted into his arms. We were in different countries for 27 days--way too long! Ah, relief...all around.

It has been a tough two months!

The Final Push!

Dissertation inspiration: Colorado sunset!

I arrived in Colorado November 21...just in time for a lovely Thanksgiving dinner on November 22 with my family (sans my super-hubby and my little kid brother, Bobby). Other than Thanksgiving, a beautiful ski day with my dear friend, Melanie, and a cookie decorating extravaganza with my cousin, Schanell, my days could be described as a dissertation-palooza! (I am trying to make this "final push" sound very fun, because it has been anything but...fun!) For me, the final push has been the hardest of the dissertation roller-coaster. December 17 marks "D" day, when I turn in the final document to my committee and all fate rests in their hands. The good news is that my major adviser said I was ready for the defense, with just a few more additions and revisions (this is never-ending). 

 
The silver lining in all of this: I am in Colorado and the weather has been fantastic and SUNNY (very different from the dark and gray days in Finland--they call November the death month)! So, my mom and I have been going on walks about every other day...it is great to get off my computer butt and feel my body move under the warm sunshine. Ahhhh...more later!

Dissertation Break: Wedding Planning

These days I am pounding the keyboard like a mad-woman trying to put the finishing touches on my dissertation. My breaks consist of wedding planning (yes, again!) When Charlie and I go back to the U.S. we are having not one, but two, small and intimate American wedding celebrations. One in Colorado and one in Ohio. In Colorado, we are renting out the Grand Assembly at Chautauqua in Boulder...one of my favorite places, it is sure to be a special evening. I keep dreaming about the dance party with all of my favorite people--can't wait! Not only will we celebrate our union, but I (along with Charlie--he is so ready for me to stop complaining) will celebrate my DONE dissertation (well, almost DONE). The only thing that needs to happen is a defense and subsequent revisions. (Sorry to keep writing about this, but it has completely and totally consumed me the past few months and well, it is kinda a big deal!)

Who knew...a wedding and PhD all in one year? Awesome! 

Dissertation Writing

Writing a dissertation is like running a marathon except the amount of time it takes to complete a dissertation is WAY longer than a marathon and maybe even more grueling. (That is speaking from experience--I have run two marathons!) I wish I could write for 4 hours and cross the finish line...but instead I am going on 4.5 months (of writing) and I have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have three chapters left...one more findings/analysis chapter, the introduction, and the conclusion. Okay, so the introductory chapter will be the easiest, but the other two...well, I have some work to do. Plus, I have to work on chapter revisions, references, and the most important page in the dissertation--acknowledgements. My days consist of time at the library (writing), then time at my office (writing), and then coming home for dinner with my honey for some R&R at home (and often times a dance party to shake off all of the stress). Oh, and lately I have been trying hard to make time for yoga-stretch classes (in Finnish). I have this knot in my shoulder and neck that will not cease to relax. Ugh, welcome to PhD dissertation life! Here are some thoughts posted on FB lately...

Oct. 17
"Becoming one with my appendices today..."

Oct. 8
"Deep thoughts from a day in the bowels of PhD land: Waiting patiently for that day when I can say 'I see light at the end of the tunnel.'"

Sept. 20
"Today is one of those schizophrenic PhD days when I throw my arms up and scream WTF am I doing? Then I quietly sit back down at my computer and peacefully type my way back into blissful agony...and so the cycle continues."

Sept. 17 
"Feelin' the love (or at least trying really hard to find the love...)"

Fall in Jyväskylä

Two dudes, two fishing poles, and a boat.

Campus all dressed up in fall colors.

Fall has arrived and the mild September-early October weather (10-14c) has made for a long and colorful season. Charlie and I started a weekly routine where we run about 3 miles around the lake on Sunday morning. We saw this first image as we were running around the lake: eye-candy! When we arrived home I grabbed my bike and Nikon and headed back to the lake to catch a few shots. This is one of my favorite times of year to pull out the Nikon and spend hours shooting.